


goodnight and goodmorning

by IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing



Category: VIXX
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I don't know what else to tag, M/M, Mentioned Kim Seokjin | Jin, Mentioned Lee Junghwan | Sandeul, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships, maybe? - Freeform, surprise cameos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-07-19 00:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing/pseuds/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing
Summary: Taekwoon comes to him only in the dead of the night, and sets his body alight with kisses and caresses that burn of desperation and passion. But come morning, he disappears without a word, and Jaehwan goes back to pretending that this is okay. That this, what they have been doing, is absolutely alright.Or, where Jaehwan is in love with Taekwoon, and he doesn't know how Taekwoon feels. But fear not! Their friends are here to help, and Taekwoon is justa little bitdense.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for checking out this story! I hope you enjoy reading it!
> 
> Updates every Saturday.

☾

 

They’re through with the third episode of the show when Jaehwan’s phone pings with a message.

Stretching past Hyuk, who is busy shoveling fistfuls of caramel popcorn into his mouth, Jaehwan retrieves his phone and unlocks it.

 _Hey_ , reads the message.

One word, plain and simple. But it sets Jaehwan’s heart racing.

He contemplates ignoring it. He had promised Hyuk that they’d watch at least five episodes of the series tonight, and Jaehwan is really liking how the plot is building up.

But…it’s _him_ , and so Jaehwan sighs and turns to Hyuk, pulling up his best face of contrition, and claiming sleepiness.

As soon as Hyuk leaves, after 5 whole minutes of whining, and armed with the entirety of their junk food stash, Jaehwan whips out his phone from his hoodie.

 _I’m here_ , he types, already shaking his head at this- _this_ unhealthy behavior, and starts to clean up the soda bottles and candy wrappers littering his couch.

It’s an innocuous exchange of words, loaded with meaning for no one else but the two of them only.

Jaehwan’s about to straighten his bedsheets when his door clicks open and then is locked shut, and turning around Jaehwan finds himself looking into the face of one Jung Taekwoon.

 

 

☼

 

When he awakens, Jaehwan is alone in his bed.

The only trace that Taekwoon leaves is the afghan folded over the arm of his couch (which Jaehwan had neglected to put away last night). And the bottle of water positioned right by his bedside.

Jaehwan can’t help but feel crushed. _Again._ He doesn’t know why he expected any different, but waking up alone yet again almost brings him to tears.

Taekwoon comes to him only in the dead of the night, and sets his body alight with kisses and caresses that burn of desperation and passion. But come morning, he disappears without a word, and Jaehwan goes back to pretending that this is okay. That _this_ , what they have been doing for the past 6 months, is absolutely alright.

Normally when idols have casual flings, they find cheap motels and partners they’d never acknowledge again. Taekwoon unfortunately didn’t quite function like a regular idol. He’d chosen his bandmate residing across the hall, and Jaehwan was too much of a sucker for him to even consider not falling into bed with him. ( _Literally_ ).

And it’s not like they fall into bed every time Taekwoon texts him. Taekwoon sometimes comes over just for the company, to cuddle or just to lie in Jaehwan’s bed and harmonize on tunes together. They spend their nights together, and in the morning Taekwoon goes back to being brusque. _~~As if he doesn’t shuffle into Jaehwan’s bed, night after night, and imprint kisses on Jaehwan’s lips and body, and then leave right around the crack of dawn.~~_ Every single time. And Jaehwan…

Jaehwan groans, stretching his body and flopping on his belly. He feels a little sore this morning, can’t help but relish the proof of last night’s debauchery, and decides that he could do with two more hours’ worth of sleep.

_It’s a day off and Jaehwan knows if he pads outside his room, he’ll surely find Taekwoon hanging off Wonshik or whoever is making breakfast, and Jaehwan would much rather sleep, and so he closes his eyes obstinately and counts numbers till he reaches dreamland._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts! <3


	2. Who Waits for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin and Hyuk try to find out why Jaehwan has been sad recently, and Jaehwan comes out of their encounter with more questions than answers (ft. sneaky cameo by Taekwoon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for tuning in to this story! Hope you enjoy reading this ~~more than I'm enjoying crying at a due academic paper right now~~

☾

“Why so glum, chum?” Hongbin asked, flopping onto Jaehwan’s bed and fixing him with a bright smile.

“Just tired, Binbin,” Jaehwan smiled affectionately, reaching out to brush a hand through Hongbin’s soft shower-dampened curls.

“And exactly how long have you been tired, hyung?” intoned Hyuk, standing cross-legged at the threshold of Jaehwan’s room.

“What’s this, an intervention?” Jaehwan asked, barely lifting his head off his pillow, and only doing so to arch an eyebrow at their maknae.

“You’ve been sad for the past couple of weeks, and we miss your smiles,” Hongbin pouted, preventing the other two from entangling in a bickering session.

“And you know Hakyeon hyung draws the line for moping alone at 7 days,” Hyuk supplied. “We’ve let you be for double that time, so share with us, and let us help you.”

“Thanks for your concern, my sweet satans,” Jaehwan piped up, feeling oddly touched at their concern. “But I’m fine! Really! Between gym and practice and auditioning, I’m just…tired. But I’m fine! Honestly!”

Jaehwan forced a beaming smile on his face, hoping that the duo would let it drop, but it just made them look more concerned and exchange a long, loaded look.

“Hyukkie, the door,” Hongbin said in the most serious voice Jaehwan had heard him use in the past couple of months. “For as good an actor as you are, you’re a terrible liar,” he commented, crossing his legs and sitting upright on the bed.

“Terrible,” Hyuk shook his head, locking the door before coming to perch at the edge of Jaehwan’s mattress.

“I don’t know what you guys want,” Jaehwan sighed, also forcing himself upright, realizing that they were about to have a _serious_ conversation.

“We want to help you, hyung.” Hyuk picked at invisible lint of the bedsheet. “We want for you to be happy, and don’t dare say you are, because you definitely are not!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaehwan insisted, looking down at his duvet and clearly not meeting either of their eyes.

Hongbin contemplated him for a good couple of minutes in silence while Jaehwan’s fingers played nervously with his duvet. And then he sighed.

“Hyung,” he began slowly, softly as if he was about to break some bad news. “We know.”

“About you and Taekwoon hyung,” Hyun clarified. “About him sneaking into your room at night, and the reason why you two always insist on sharing rooms when we travel.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaehwan parroted, feeling his stomach drop. _Because if they knew, then-_

“Hyuk accidentally found out, while snacking in the dark one night,” Hongbin explained, as if reading Jaehwan’s mind. “And I saw you two kiss at your door a few weeks ago.”

“At first I thought you guys were just hiding your relationship,” Hyuk rambled on, perhaps noticing how close Jaehwan is to hyperventilating. “Which would have been stupid, because why hide from us? But then I studied the two of how, and how you are…outside, and I just-” he paused for a breath. “You’re obviously not okay with your _arrangement_ , so why don’t you just stop?”

Jaehwan grappled for words, trying to calm down his fight or flight instincts, repeating in his head that the duo just wanted the best for him, and so he couldn’t lash out, not when they were looking at him with so much love and care.

And yes, he’d been down for the past few weeks. Because despite how softly Taekwoon kissed him in the night or how reverently he gazed at Jaehwan right before they fell asleep, adoration never colored Taekwoon’s gaze in the daylight. During the day he was taciturn and distant, and Jaehwan was tired of clamoring for his tiniest attention, of being a passable distraction.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jaehwan asked finally, balling his hands into fists to control the tremors shaking him. “Isn’t it obvious why I don’t say no to him, why I can’t?”

 _Please don’t make me say it_ , he pleaded silently, looking beseechingly at his two dongsaengs, asking for their understanding, and asking for their mercy.

“Oh hyung,” Hongbin hummed unhappily, bridging their gap to envelop Jaehwan into the warmest hug.

Hyuk joined them too, after a beat of hesitation, spreading his arms around the two of them and burying his head in Jaehwan’s shoulder.

“I’ll do better,” Jaehwan promised after a while, not only to them but to himself too. “But let me just get over the hurt and mope for a bit more, okay?”

“Only if you let us cuddle you to sleep,” Hyuk said gently, disentangling from the huddle and bouncing on the bed.

“Yeah,” Hongbin agreed readily, letting it go _for now at least_. “Only if you let us fall asleep while eating your supply of homerun balls.”

Jaehwan gasped for effect, and ran over to curl around his shopping ball full of the delicious treats, and giggled when Hyuk bodily removed him from the bag and threw him back on the bed.

 

 

☾

 

 

Sometime later, after all three of them had dozed off in a tangle of long limbs, Jaehwan blinked his eyes open to find light pouring in through the crack of his now-open door.

 _Taekwoon_ , he realized, was standing at his door, silhouetted by the light pouring in from the living room, and just gazing at the three of them cuddled in his bed. A moment more, and then Taekwoon disappeared, closing the door soundlessly behind him.

Jaehwan closed his eyes, ready to go back to sleep, but before he could, his phone buzzed and was lit up by the notification from an incoming message. T-Rex-ing his hand out of the duvet, Jaehwan fetched his phone from the bedside table and squinted at it in the pitch black darkness.

He had 5 unread messages, three from Seokjin wondering if they were colour coordinating sweaters for their ice-cream date the upcoming weekend, and two from Taekwoon.

 _Hey_ , read the first message from Taekwoon, sent over 20 minutes ago. ( _Their customary signal of ‘Are you free’ and ‘Can I come over’_.)

 _Sweet dreams, Jaehwan-ah,_ read the second message, sent only half a minute back.

And against his direst warnings, hope bloomed in his heart again that maybe, just maybe, Taekwoon _wanted_ just as much as him.

 

 

☼

 

 

“So, I have done some research, and I have come to a conclusion,” Hyuk began, barging into Jaehwan’s room.

“Which you are about to enlighten me with, I take it,” Jaehwan rolled his eyes good-naturedly, continuing to dry his hair with the towel.

“As soon as we get Hongbin hyung on call,” Hyuk piped up, plopping down on Jaehwan’s couch and brandishing his new phone.

“What’s wrong?” Hongbin asked in lieu of a greeting, noises crackling from his end of the line, the unmistakable sound of a blowdryer whirring distinct even over the cacophony.

“Are you on break right now?” Hyuk demanded, patting the space beside him for Jaehwan to sit. “I’m with Jaehwan hyung.”

“I got 20 minutes and I’m going to be spending 10 of those eating cherry tomatoes, so you might wanna make this fast,” Hongbin warned, before thanking the stylist who’d been working on his hair. “Hey Jaehwan hyung!”

“Hey Binbin,” Jaehwan greeted. “Shooting going well?”

“You guys can banter on the group chat later,” Hyuk waved dismissively, and Jaehwan marveled yet again at how proficient Hyukkie was at getting his way. _Maknae on top indeed_. “We’re here to talk about my research findings now.”

“Who were you stalking this time, you overgrown baby?” Jaehwan said dryly, thinking back to that one time Hyuk had ~~gotten obsessed with~~ fanboyed hard over EXO’s Sehun and had somehow managed to dig up his private Twitter and Instagram accounts.

“Stalking is such an ugly word,” Hyuk tsked, and Hongbin broke into easy laughter at the other end of the line.

“Fine, research. Findings. Enlighten us,” Hongbin replied indulgently.

“Remember when we were in our last dorm and Taekwoon hyung wanted to sleep in the corner, but he didn’t want to inconvenience anybody and so continued sleeping in the middle and only confessed when he lost in our New Year’s Eve truth or dare game?” Hyuk rambled, not pausing for a breath. Distractedly, Jaehwan marveled at his lung capacity and wondered how long Hyuk would be able to sustain high notes, given the proper practice.

 “Uh huh,” he said intelligibly instead, wondering where Hyuk was going with this.

“Given the premise that Taekwoon hyung puts his feelings and wishes in the backseat, and basing off my recent observations of him staring at Jaehwan hyung when hyung is sleeping in the car,” Hyuk paused for dramatic effect, eyes shining brightly. “I’m saying our chic Leo-ssi has feelings of the mushy kind for our cutie main vocal. Thoughts?”

Jaehwan snorted disbelievingly, and got off the couch, resuming toweling his hair vigorously.

“You’re insane,” he bit out, staring reproachfully at the youngster. “How can you joke like that, knowing my feelings for him?”

“But hyung, I’m serious!” Hyuk insisted from his perch. “Remember last weekend when you were walking around the dorm jamming with the radio? He got up and opened his door to listen to you better.”

“Yes, and he makes soup for Hakyeon hyung when he gets ill, and fetches Wonshik from his studios on the weekends, and hangs off _your_ shoulder when he’s feeling particularly affectionate.” Jaehwan countered, refusing to believe. “This proves nothing!”

“He stares at you like he wants to hug you and never let you go when you’re too focused on your studies or drawing,” Hyuk listed in a serious voice. “Last night, when you were dumping the vegetables on my plate – yes, I saw – he was staring at you like the sun shines and sets with your smile, and I’ve never seen him look that way at anyone. Not us, not his family, just you. Hyung, I swear he cares for you!”

“Do you believe this pile of bullshit, Bin?” Jaehwan addressed Hongbin, who had yet to speak one word.

“I-,” Hongbin hesitated. “I actually do, hyung. For the same reason I thought you were in a relationship.”

Jaehwan made a pained noise, almost involuntarily, the fight leaving his body and leaving him exhausted and _wanting_ all over again.

“When you fainted after coming off stage during the Spring Festival last month, Taekwoon hyung-he went insane,” Hongbin informed them somberly. “I was in the car with you and him that was going to the hospital, and he refused to let anyone touch you, couldn’t bear to be parted from you, and spent 4 hours in that hospital room holding your hand before you woke up.”

“I-I didn’t know,” Jaehwan said faintly, perfunctorily walking back to seat beside Hyuk again, who immediately wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulder. All he remembered was his vision going black and then waking up to find their manager and Taekwoon sorting through a bag of yoghurt. Taekwoon had handed him a chocolate yoghurt, and that had been that.

“I didn’t want to tell you, not when you had just started to seem more cheerful after weeks of sadness,” Hongbin said guiltily, and Jaehwan could picture him picking at the calluses on his hands. “I’m sorry hyung,” he continued remorsefully. “I should have told you.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jaehwan shook his head, even though Hongbin couldn’t see him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I-,” Hongbin began, before hearing someone call his name. “I’m being called to set,” Hongbin said unhappily. “Let’s talk more when I get home?”

“Don’t worry, Binbin. I’ve got Hyukkie. Work hard, and fighting~!” Jaehwan cheered, before disconnecting the call. He spent a good couple of minutes staring at the now blank phone screen while Hyuk perused the various expressions on his face.

“Do you really think he likes me back?” Jaehwan asked quietly, barely daring to hope.

“I’m not so cruel as to give you false hope, hyung,” Hyuk said, draping his long fingers over Jaehwan’s clasped hands. “I really think he likes you back, that he cares for you, and just doesn’t know how to express himself.”

“Then why would he ask me to sleep with him, and not share his feelings instead?” Jaehwan asked hollowly, feeling an ancient tiredness simmering in his bones.

For that, Hyuk had no answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts! <3


	3. Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan starts to hope, Hyuk plots and Hongbin just wants to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the next installment of this fic! Hope you enjoy~

☼

Wednesday morning found Jaehwan sitting in the dorm’s living room, trying to read through a script for audition, and failing miserably because of Hakyeon’s pained noises coming from the kitchen.

LR would be having variety shows in Japan in under two weeks, and Hakyeon, kind-hearted Hakyeon, had taken responsibility of teaching proper intonation to Wonshik. Wonshik - despite his very many talents - absolutely sucked at the pronunciations, which lead to Hakyeon first trying to correct him with gentle admonitions, which had then somehow resorted to the leader making pained expressions every time Wonshik (enthusiastically) butchered a word, which was inevitably followed by Hakyeon banging his head on their dining table. 

_Jaehwan had a niggling suspicion that Wonshik was intentionally mispronouncing every third word just to enjoy the pinched expressions on Hakyeon’s face, because honestly? He’d be doing the same in Wonshik’s place._

A soft smile settling on his face, Jaehwan looked away from the kitchen to the other corner of the room, where Hyuk was curled up on a lazy boy and busy glaring at his notebook, willing lyrics to manifest out of thin air.

It wasn’t often that they all got to spend time together at the dorm anymore, every one of them now rushing through their individual schedules and chasing their own dreams, but it was good to be home and relax like this. Comforting, even.

“What are you thinking of?” A soft voice broke into Jaehwan’s reverie, and startled back into the present, he found Taekwoon planted in the seat beside him, and studying him with a curious expression.

“Nothing special, Just how everything seems better when we're all together,” Jaehwan shook his head, eyes lingering on the shoulder of Taekwoon’s sweater, under which he knew he’d left a purpling hickey last night. “You feeling good?”

“Hmm,” Taekwoon rumbled, his expression going softer when Jaehwan met his eyes again. “Although I wouldn’t say no to a coffee and maybe a neck massage.”

“Binbin made coffee before he went back for another nap, go pour yourself some,” Jaehwan teased, enjoying the way Taekwoon pouted in reply.

“What about my neck massage?” Taekwoon whined, leaning over and jabbing Jaehwan’s ribcage, right where he’d left a half dozen bruising love-bites. _Bastard_.

“I’m sure Hakyeon hyung wouldn’t say no to some cuddle time,” Jaehwan quipped in a saccharine sweet tone, barely keeping the bitterness out of his voice, from waking up and finding his two hyungs whispering secretively in the balcony over cups of steaming tea.

“Hmm,” Taekwoon intoned again, turning to study Hakyeon’s Wonshik-inflicted ordeal in the kitchen with a thoughtful expression. “Maybe later,” he said, turning back to Jaehwan and fixing him with a calculating look. “What are you reading?”

“Lines for an audition,” Jaehwan returned, waving the script at the elder.

“Then you wouldn’t mind me taking a nap, would you?” And with that, Taekwoon swooped down and laid his head on Jaehwan’s lap before closing his eyes and just breathing.

“Hmm,” Jaehwan hummed in a rattled breath when Taekwoon took hold of his free hand and settled it in Taekwoon’s hair, a silent appeal for caressing. _And how could Jaehwan deny him?_

Within seconds of Jaehwan tangling his fingers in his tresses, Taekwoon turned till his head was buried in Jaehwan’s hip, nuzzled gently and then fell asleep, easy as day.

Looking up some time later, Jaehwan found Hyuk analyzing the two of them with a narrowed gaze, and honestly, he too was confused.

It was unlike Taekwoon to be so…soft, outside the bedroom and off-camera, and Jaehwan didn’t know what brought the change.

_He knew though that this wouldn’t last, and wishing otherwise would only be like hanging wishes on shooting stars_ …

 

 

☾ 

 

 

“Hyu~ung!” Hongbin whined, rolling across Jaehwan’s bed, trying to hug him.

“No,” Jaehwan huffed, resolutely facing away from him, arms crossed across his chest.

“It’s not my fault Taekwoon hyung decided to cuddle with me!” Hongbin wailed, pouting pitifully.

Jaehwan huffed again, and even furrowed his eyebrows for effect.

He wasn't really mad at Hongbin, because Taekwoon was the one who had gotten all up in Hongbin’s space during their movie session. It’s just that, Jaehwan was… _jealous_.

He’d thought Taekwoon falling asleep on him earlier that day was the beginning of something. He’d dared to hope, to start believing Hyuk’s claim, but then Taekwoon _had to_ go feed Wonshik food from his own plate at dinner, and then cuddle with Hongbin during their movie session. Never once even looking at Jaehwan, who had been ~~conveniently~~ expectantly sitting alone on the sofa during the movie.

“I’ll buy you a six pack of the yoghurt you like,” Hongbin wheedled, leaning over Jaehwan’s shoulder and trying to catch his eye.

“And a lip tint too,” Hyuk suggested from where he was sitting cross-legged on Jaehwan’s floor, decimating a cup of chocolate pudding. “Jaehwan hyung is almost out of his balm, and I like using his stuff because it tastes like cherry,” Hyuk shrugged when both his hyungs turned to look at him.

“Fine, yoghurt and lip tint,” Hongbin promised. “Will you let me hug you now, I already feel horrid.”

“I’m not mad with you, Binbin,” Jaehwan sighed, finally turning and allowing his sleep-drunk dongsaeng to cling like a koala to his shoulders. “I’m just mad at myself, for getting jealous.” He paused to let out an embarrassed laugh. “I’m mad for hoping, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” Hongbin slurred, blinking beseechingly at Jaehwan, and Jaehwan wondered for the umpteenth time why he couldn’t fall for Hongbin, who despite his savage wit was the most easygoing, undemanding sweetheart. Or even Wonshik, who adored Jaehwan like he was something infinitely precious.

“We’re good,” Jaehwan appeased, loosely clasping one hand with Hongbin and wrestling him till his head rested on a pillow. “Sleep now. You too, Hyukkie.” 

“Maybe later,” Hyuk replied distractedly, sucking the plastic spoon he’d been eating his pudding with. “I was just thinking…”

“Yes?” Jaehwan questioned curiously.

“How would you like to give our hamster hyung a taste of his own medicine?”

“What do you have in mind, Satan?”

“Jealousy is an 8 later word, which can be a two-way street. Let’s see how he reacts when you flirt with someone else?”

“Like who?” Jaehwan asked, curious despite not being fully convinced about the idea. Taekwoon had never given any indication that he felt _possessive_ over Jaehwan. Except the dozen times he had bodily removed Wonshik and Hakyeon’s hands from Jaehwan’s body when they had gotten ridiculously touchy. _Huh._

“Hongbin hyung?” Hyuk half-asked, already shaking his head before Jaehwan replied.

“Taekwoon hyung would never buy that. He knows I adore Bin like a younger brother.”

“You’re right,” Hyuk allowed. “Hakyeon hyung is out, because we don’t need him preening more from your attention. I’m out solely because I won’t be able to keep a straight face. Wonshik hyung?”

“You know that he used to harbor a big, fat crush on me, right?” Jaehwan asked dryly, brushing his free hand through his hair. “A crush it took me two months’ worth of conversation to help him get over?”

“Hyung, half of our fans know he’s a fool for you,” Hyuk rolled his eyes, uncrossing his legs and stretching them out. “But agreed. Let’s not hurt him if we can avoid that.”

“Which leaves us fresh out of options,” Hyuk pouted.

“No, it doesn’t,” Hongbin slurred, and Jaehwan – who’d thought he was already asleep – startled physically.

“Who do you have in mind?” Jaehwan asked him, smoothing a hand through Hongbin’s hair when he snuggled closer.

“Not gonna tell you,” Hongbin teased with a sleepy giggle. “I want you to be surprised too!”

Before Jaehwan could whine or Hyuk could pester him, Jaehwan’s door slid open. Hongbin stilled, pretending to be fast asleep.

“What are you guys talking about?” Wonshik asked, staring suspiciously between Hyuk and Jaehwan (and an immobile Hongbin whose hand was currently banded across Jaehwan’s waist).

“Oh, just how badly you need an intervention because of the sexual lyrics you’ve been writing lately,” Hyuk said airily, flattening his lips to stop himself from smiling.

Wonshik squawked, blushed and spluttered (although he couldn’t deny the accusation).

“I’ve come to fetch you for sleeping, Hyukkie,” he said when he recovered, straightening his back. “N hyung decreed we all get at least 6 hours of sleep before the radio show tomorrow.”

“And you’ve come now, after finishing your porn session?” Jaehwan teased, giggling when Hyuk snorted out loud.

“You guys are the worst!” Wonshik stomped his foot before turning around and disappearing.

“I’m gonna go too, before he writes an emo rap about ungrounded betrayal,” Hyuk rolled his eyes, jumping up and gathering his trash. “Hyung, get some sleep, and Hongbin hyung, we’ll plot later! Night!”

Hongbin slurred an approximation of a goodbye, and Jaehwan waved sleepily, asking Hyuk to turn off the lights before he left.

“As soon as I’m back,” Hyuk promised, holding up his hand full of trash, and kicking Jaehwan’s door wide open.

Jaehwan hummed in reply, closing his eyes against the light and shuffling closer to Hongbin. He did love a good cuddle and a sleepy, warm Hongbin was a wonderful cuddle-buddy. Jaehwan snuffled and tangled their feet together, ready for a good night's rest.

_And between Hyuk encountering Hakyeon drinking his night-time cup of ginseng tea in the kitchen (and getting suckered into drinking some) and Jaehwan falling asleep, Taekwoon passed by the hallway, on his way from the washroom to his bedroom, and paused for two whole minutes, studying the two Lees all cuddled up in Jaehwan’s bed with a troubled expression on his face._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts! <3


	4. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon confronts Jaehwan about being distant, and Jaehwan figures out a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next installment, y'all! Hope you enjoy reading this~

☾

 

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Hongbin and Hyuk lately,” Taekwoon commented offhandedly, looking up from his book to watch Jaehwan who was currently busy trying to find his way out of one of his signature oversized sweaters.

_They were in Japan for a commercial shoot, and predictably Taekwoon had called dibs on rooming with Jaehwan._

_And although it was just September, winter had come early. Jaehwan, who got cold too easily, had already started wearing his infamous baggy sweaters._

“Just shared hobby, is all,” Jaehwan shrugged, his mind replaying Hyuk’s voice instructing him to remain nonchalant.

They’d figured Taekwoon would eventually ask Jaehwan this question, after Hyuk and Hongbin had managed to thwart Taekwoon’s attempts at sexy times with Jaehwan for six weeks running. _Be cool hyung_ , Hongbin had advised. _Ask yourself what a lovestruck Yeonnie hyung would do and then do the exact opposite_ , Hyuk had sagely advised.

“Hmm” Taekwoon replied noncommittally, going back to perusing his book. But Jaehwan, now busy doing his night time beauty regimen (of moisturizer, chapstick and one swipe of a comb through his hair) could clearly see Taekwoon’s nose twitching from the corner of his eye.

A silence lasted for a grand total of three minutes where Taekwoon glared at his book and Jaehwan made puckered lips at his reflection.

_(Remain patient and let him talk first_ , Hongbin had advised. _It would be fun to see him squirm a bit, don’t you think_ , Hyuk had suggested a little too gleefully.)

“What were they saying about meeting your boyfriend next week?” Taekwoon asked suddenly, closing his book a little too forcefully.

_And bingo!_ Jaehwan laughed casually, fistpumping in his head.

Hyuk and Hongbin had been teasing Jaehwan all day (all part of a preplanned ruse, no need for alarm) about meeting his boyfriend again and setting the rumor mills gossiping with their skinship.

“Hyung, you know how they like to tease,” Jaehwan replied flippantly, waving a hand.

_But who were they talking about?_ Jaehwan knew this was the question Taekwoon really wanted to know, the question he was barely refraining from asking.

“Doesn’t it bother you, rumors flying about you with another guy?” Taekwoon asked instead, the corners of his mouth going down in a frown.

“In case you haven’t noticed, hyung I’m really _really_ not very heterosexual,” Jaehwan giggled, gesturing between the two of them. “Besides, half of our fans think all of VIXX are secretly dating each other, so why does it matter if rumors fly about me with some other guys?”

“What would your family and friends think?” Taekwoon asked, his eyebrows creasing. “How are you okay with it?”

Jaehwan sighed, finally facing a question he (and Hyuk and Hongbin) had not anticipated. _Is this what Taekwoon was worried about?_

“Hyung,” Jaehwan said slowly, turning around to stare Taekwoon right in his eyes. “Let me ask you a question. What would you do if the others found out about us?”

Taekwoon made a pained noise, knuckles going white around the hardback cover of his book.

“You don’t need to answer right now,” Jaehwan said, holding up his palms in a placating gesture, noticing Taekwoon about to panic. “But think on it, okay? You know what I would do?”

When Taekwoon shook his head, Jaehwan continued, still maintaining eye contact. “I would simply carry on. I don’t think that you guys, and everyone else whose opinion I care about, would react badly if I got into a relationship with another guy,” Jaehwan paused, gathering his thoughts. “Maybe you would take time to accept, but you’d support me. Wouldn’t you, hyung?”

“I’d support your every decision, Jaehwan-ah,” Taekwoon replied immediately. “I promised, didn’t I?”

He had. All the way back in 2012. When they were both chosen to be VIXX’s main vocals. When they both admitted aspirations to pursue music and musicals outside of VIXX. They had both promised to lift up one another and push each other to be better and support one another, and it was that trust, that bond that had led Taekwoon to Jaehwan’s doorstep all those months ago.

“And I’d promised I’d be there for you, whenever and whatever you need,” Jaehwan paused, taking a breath before delivering the _piece de resistance_. “No matter who I date, that will not change.”

“So, who is this person, your supposed boyfriend?” Taekwoon asked finally, a thoughtful look settling on his face.

“ _Not gonna tell you_ ~” Jaehwan giggled, flopping down on the queen-sized bed and rolling under the covers.

“Brat,” Taekwoon huffed without any heat, finally settling down his book. He pressed a hand around the rolling Jaehwan and brought him closer till they were fitted comfortably, side by side.

“Just out of curiosity, what are you looking for in your ideal partner?” Taekwoon asked after a while, when Jaehwan sneaked his cold toes to rest along Taekwoon’s calves.

“To love me, feed me, and never ever leave me,” Jaehwan quoted Garfield, only to earn a rap on his head from Taekwoon. “Honestly? Just someone who’d accept me for who I am, and be patient with me, and pamper me a little bit. Cooking would be a nice added bonus,” Jaehwan smiled against Taekwoon’s shoulder. “What about you, hyung?”

“I haven’t really thought about that,” Taekwoon sighed again. “A relationship hasn’t been a priority for me for a long time.”

_What would you call what we are doing_ , Jaehwan wanted to ask oh so badly. But he had to go slow, to not freak Taekwoon into clamping up.

“That’s understandable,” he said instead, fingers caressing Taekwoon’s thigh. “But if you find someone who makes you happy, who you will be proud to call yours, I,” Jaehwan paused, trying to compose himself. “I want you to take a chance and reach out to them. Promise me?”

Taekwoon made a vaguely pained sound, his arm trembling around Jaehwan’s body. Burying his head in Jaehwan’s hair, he very unsubtly changed the subject. “I’m really tired right now,” he said in a soft voice. “Can we just go to sleep?”

Jaehwan nodded in reply, whispering to Taekwoon to turn off the lights, resolutely _not_ thinking about how, a couple years down the line, Taekwoon would meet and fall in love with some beautiful, poised woman, and have cute chubby babies that he would adore, while Jaehwan would watch from the sidelines, the memory of whatever they were doing right now already a forgotten phase by then.

He closed his eyes stubbornly, and crowded in closer to Taekwoon, his uneasy heart splintering into a crowd of butterflies when Taekwoon leaned down and pressed a soft goodnight kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Jaehwan turned and captured his lips, trying to prolong their kiss, trying to get the thoughts of his eventual heartbreak out of his head. And Taekwoon, he pushed Jaehwan down by his shoulders and slipped a leg between Jaehwan’s, one hand coming to rest at the curve of Jaehwan’s jawline and the other slipping under his sweater.

_As they lost ~~their clothes~~ themselves in one another, Jaehwan sent out a silent prayer for Hongbin’s plan to work, prayed for the miracle of Taekwoon falling in love with him. Hoped that his fears would be proved wrong._

_Closing his eyes against the tears he could feel building up, Jaehwan started kissing Taekwoon with renewed passion._

_._

_._

_._

_They did not go to sleep for a long, long time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter than usual chapter, but thank you for reading anyway ^_^
> 
> Who do you think this supposed boyfriend might be? I would love to hear your thoughts! <3


	5. Fake Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyuk and Hongbin's plotting finally comes into play, and besties smother Jaehwan with PDA to make Taekwoon jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies~   
> Here's an extra long chapter (ft. surprise cameos) to make up for the brevity of the last chapter. Hope you enjoy!

☼

 

 _How’s my fake love doing today_ , was the message Jaehwan received bright and early in the van when they were travelling to the music festival venue a week later.

 _Haha, real cute. I’m guessing Hongbin got to you_ , Jaehwan texted back, pulling up his legs on the seat and leaning against the window.

 _Yeah duh_ , read the next text. Immediately followed by _Can’t wait to get strangled by Taekwoon hyung ;x_

Jaehwan sighed wondering what to reply with. _I hope so_ seemed a bit too much like throwing his friend under the bus, but that was the goal of this ruse, wasn’t it?

In the end he went with the sticker of the winking dog emoji, immediately followed by the Tuzki eating cookie sticker.

 _You use emojis like my grandmother_ , came the reply, this time the pinging noise of his phone startling Wonshik awake.

_Entertain me, Hwannie. I’m getting my hair done._

_And pre-shoots are still 2 hours away_ was then followed up by the sticker of the penguin holding a flashlight to its face.

Jaehwan snorted as his fingers flew over the keyboard. _And I’m bad with emojis?_

 _I swear our stylist took it too personally when I said that she needs to retie her hair_ , Jaehwan continued texting.

_ In my defense, her hair was spilling out of her bun. _

_ But now my pants are cutting off my circulation.  _

_ On the bright side, my butt has never looked better _ ;)

“Who’re you texting so early, hyung?” Wonshik’s gravelly voice interrupted and Jaehwan looked to the side to find their rapper rubbing at his eyes. From the corner of his eye, he saw Taekwoon – who was in the front seat – incline his head to listen in to the conversation while pretending to study the scenery outside.

“Just a friend, Wonshik-ah,” Jaehwan shrugged, smiling brightly.

His phone pinged again, showing the incoming gifs of Miley Cyrus twerking, Rihanna twerking and Nicki Minaj twerking in chronological order. One last gif came in and Jaehwan succumbed to giggles again. Because this gif? It was a fancam zooming in and out on Jaehwan himself shaking his butt.

 “You guys never tell me anything,” Wonshik whined, crowding into Jaehwan’s space and dropping his head unceremoniously on Jaehwan’s lap. “Hyuk and Hongbin disappear on their game dates all the time, and still you spend more time with them than me! It’s unfair.”

“If you dropped in home from your studio during daylight hours someday, we could consider hanging out,” Jaehwan teased, petting Wonshik’s dyed hair.

“I feel personally attacked,” Wonshik murmured.

“You should,” Jaehwan said sagely, pocketing his phone after his _How do you even have this gif lmao_ was met with another ridiculous barrage of unrelated stickers. “And if you want some attention, you should hang out with Yeonnie hyung,” Jaehwan offered, already imagining their leader enthusiastically smothering Wonshik in octopus hugs.

“It’s not his attention I want,” Wonshik murmured, but just on the wrong side of loud. Jaehwan’s eyes flashed up, to meet Taekwoon’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He held Taekwoon’s gaze, ignoring the stiffening of Wonshik’s body.

“Well, I understand why you wouldn’t want Hakyeon hyung all over you,” Jaehwan said evenly, before the situation could spiral into awkward silence. (Which was unacceptable because they still had 30 minutes of travel time left). “Might I recommend trying to hug our Resident Satan instead? You’ll get spun around and thrown down onto beds and sofas, and I hear some people are really into that.”

“Pfft, if I hugged Hyuk, he’d pour a can of soda on my bed and then bully me into cleaning the room. Do you know when was the last time I cleaned our room?”

“Never,” Taekwoon and Jaehwan said in unison, sharing a smile when their eyes met in the rearview mirror again.

“Like I said, I’m feeling personally attacked right now,” sniffed Wonshik. “Now shut up and let me catch some Zs.”

Jaehwan snorted, petting Wonshik’s hair one more time before relapsing into silence and staring out of the window.

His phone pinged again after a couple of minutes, and Jaehwan got so engrossed in texting, he never saw Taekwoon staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

 

☼

 

 

“You guys started eating without us,” Jaehwan accused, stepping into their dressing room and finding Hakyeon, Hyuk and Hongbin already stuffing their mouth with the various foods laid out on the table.

Hongbin mumbled something through a mouth full of apple slices but Jaehwan wasn’t able to catch his words, shoved to the side by Taekwoon, who dropped his bag on the nearest sofa and immediately beelined for the stack of fried chicken.

Feeling full after snacking on two granola bars in the car, Jaehwan instead shuffled towards the sofas, intent on napping a solid 30 minutes before the stylists would need him.

But no sooner had Jaehwan exchanged his performance shoes for his Totoro slippers than the door to their dressing room burst open, and with a shout of ‘Cuddle Time~’, Jaehwan was tackled down on the sofa.

“What the fuck?” he questioned, out of breath, looking up from Jin burying his head in Jaehwan’s shoulder to meet Jimin’s amused face, who was staring at them from the doorway.

“This is the third time they’ve burst in actually,” Hakyeon informed Jaehwan dryly. “The first time Jinnie shouted ‘Who wants to hug Mr. Worldwide Handsome!’ but after not finding you here, he disappeared with four pieces of French toast.”

“The second time he burst into the chorus of ‘Hug U’,” Hyuk pitched in, subtly hiding the dish of French toasts behind a bowl of salad greens. “Which, btw is a great song choice, but he again disappeared with more French toasts.”

“In his defense, you guys actually do have better catering than us,” Jimin finally spoke up, walking into the room to do a handshake/fistbump combo with Wonshik. “How’s it going, Jaehwan hyung?”

“Wonderful, now that I am here,” Jin piped up, earning a kick to his ankle from Jaehwan. Jin kicked back and the duo succumbed into playful roughhousing, only pausing when Hyuk stepped in.

“No need to get so frisky, lovebirds,” he said dryly, separating the duo as if their combined weight was insignificant. “Hyung, did you bring my earphones?” he addressed Jaehwan.

“In my bag, outer pocket,” Jaehwan replied, pulling Jin back in for a cuddle as soon as Hyuk let them go.

“I missed you,” Jin whined, just loud enough that everyone in the room could hear them.

“But we met just three weeks ago,” Jaehwan patted at his head.

“And those were the three worst weeks of my life,” Jin sighed dramatically, maneuvering their bodies so Jaehwan was lying tight against the sofa and Jin was facing him, back against the room.

“Also,” piped up Jin brightly. “I made you some cheesesticks because you were texting how much you were craving them recently!”

Jaehwan barely held in a snort at how attentively boyfriend-y his best friend was being. _Pity. If only Jaehwan wasn’t enamoured with Taekwoon, and Jin wasn’t the textbook definition of heterosexual._

“It’s edible,” Jimin helpfully supplied, holding up a box of cheesesticks (with a heart-shaped sticker of Jin’s face plastered on the lid). “Taehyung and Jungkookie tried some last night, and they’re still alive.”

“That’s good to know, because Jaehwan hyung’s stomach has been weirdly sensitive these past couple of days,” Hongbin piped up. “Mind if I try one? I haven’t had cheesesticks in ages.”

“No~,” burst out Jin, wriggling around and almost falling off the couch. “They’re only for my sweetheart!” He said with a shiver-inducing greasy wink.

Jaehwan wrinkled his nose and couldn’t help kicking Jin for being so cheesy, and looking up, he found Wonshik and Hyuk studying them with twin looks of disgust on their face.

“I told you not to let him have coffee this morning,” Taehyung chided, appearing in the doorway and waving at everyone. Jimin, who was busy being fed strawberries by Hakyeon, smiled guiltily before tugging at Hakyeon’s sleeve for more food.

“We gotta roll,” Taehyung continued, pointing his thumb back at the hallway. “Namjoon hyung wants a practice in our stage outfits.”

Jimin immediately complied, hugging Hakyeon and Hyuk goodbye before heading out, but Jin whined, burying his head in Jaehwan’s shoulder again.

“Hyung, get up before I get Jungkookie to get you up,” Taehyung threatened.

“No need, I already got thrown around by Hyuk today,” Jin replied, and Hyuk giggled unrepentantly.

“Eat your cheesesticks,” he instructed Jaehwan, finally getting off him after squeezing in another hug. “And I’ll catch you later!” he promised, leaning down to smack a kiss against Jaehwan’s lips before bounding out the doorway, his exasperated dongsaengs speedwalking behind him.

Jaehwan gasped, fingers shooting up to his lips and eyes dropping to the floor when he felt everyone’s gaze fixed on him.

“Well, that was…interesting,” Hongbin smiled uneasily, trying to break the silence.

“We’re only lucky Dispatch wasn’t nearby,” Hakyeon said evenly, eyes flicking between Jaehwan and the rest of the room. He shook his head after a bit. “Namjoon’s idea isn’t half bad. Let’s get into outfit and practice once and then sit for makeup.”

“First dibs on outfit change,” Hyuk shouted, shoving Wonshik out of his way to get to the attached bathroom.

Hakyeon turned to talk to their manager who had chosen that minute to walk in, and Jaehwan sighed in relief and turned his back to the room, still intent on catching a mini nap. Hongbin and Wonshik buried their heads together, studying the setlist of the festival lineup, commenting on the groups every now and then. And Taekwoon?

_He stood stock-still in the middle of the room, plate of fried chicken still held in his hand, but appetite suddenly lost._

 

 

☼ 

 

 

 _Did you see Taekwoon hyung’s face though_ , Hongbin texted in their group chat, followed by three crying emojis.

 _If he had a butter knife nearby and the hallway didn’t have CCTV, Jin hyung’s remains would never have been found_ , Hyuk texted from the makeup chair right beside Hongbin.

 _Whose idea was the kiss_ , Jaehwan demanded to know, from his perch on Hakyeon hyung’s dressing table, absolutely not monitoring his dance.

 _That was all Jin hyung_ , Hongbin replied. _I only asked him to be clingy and greasy_.

 _Like you_ , Hyuk added helpfully.

Jaehwan extended his left leg to kick Hyuk’s hip, and Hyuk yowled, attracting Hakyeon’s attention.

“My baby,” Hakyeon cooed, enclosing a struggling Hyuk into a hug. “Why’d you kick him, Jaehwanie?”

“I thought I saw a snake,” Jaehwan deadpanned, making Hongbin snort.

“Hmm,” Hakyeon replied, fixing the three of them with a curious gaze. “After we’re done here, let’s have a talk, just you and I, yeah?”

Jaehwan gulped and nodded, feeling a shiver go through him when Hakyeon smiled saccharine sweet at him and sauntered away.

 _Ruh-roh_ , Hyuk texted, which was followed by Hongbin sending the sticker of the Tuzki falling to the floor.

Jaehwan wanted to smack himself.

 

 

☾

 

 

Jaehwan wanted to smack Jin.

Because when they came down after performing on stage, Junghwan was standing in the waiting area, bottle of Jaehwan’s favorite honey tea clutched in both hands.

“Jaehwanie,” he greeted with a bright smile, pushing past Hongbin to enclose Jaehwan into a hug and press a smacking kiss to his cheek. “I got you tea. For your thirst.”

“Did Hongbin put you up to this?” Jaehwan hissed, keeping up the ruse and patting his best friend’s back.

“Of course not. It was Seokjinnie. I practically leaped at the chance to practice my acting,” Junghwan corrected in a whisper, disentangling (but still holding onto Jaehwan’s waist) as he turns to face the rest of VIXX. “Hey guys, long time no see! Great performance!”

“Thank you, Sandeulie,” Hakyeon said with a tight smile, eyes flickering between Sandeul’s hand shoving the bottle of tea in Jaehwan’s pants, and Taekwoon, who had his eyes fixed on the duo. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I got called in last minute as replacement MC for the next segment,” Junghwan smiled sheepishly. “And I couldn’t miss the chance to spend more time with my sweet Jaehwanie.”

“First Jin hyung and now you,” Wonshik laughed obliviously. “Did we miss a memo for ‘Pamper Jaehwan Day’ or something?”

“What did Seokjinnie do?” Junghwan asked in a convincingly affronted voice.

“He was being all touchy and flirty with hyung,” Wonshik replied. “Kinda like you are being now,” he said, pointing at Junghwan’s fingers playing with Jaehwan’s belt loops.

“Oh, Seokjinnie has always had a thing for Jaehwanie,” Junghwan said flippantly, eyes casually flickering to Taekwoon (who sucked in a shuddering breath, but otherwise remained still, eyes now fixed to the ground). “But can you blame him? Look at our Jaehwanie, he’s so adorable!”

“I fucking hate you,” Jaehwan groaned, subtly stepping on his shoes. Junghwan just laughed, clapping a hand around Jaehwan’s shoulder and shaking him.

“I’m so tired of Seokjinnie hogging Jaehwanie’s attention during our ice cream dates, so I thought I’d steal Jaehwanie’s attention today, but that prick beat me to it, it seems!” Junghwan huffed, throwing both hands around Jaehwan’s shoulder and clinging tight.

“Quick, Wonshik. Take a disgustingly cute photo of us,” he instructed, practically throwing his phone at Wonshik. “Time to make Seokjinnie jealous. Who knows maybe he’ll man up and finally ask Jaehwanie out on a _date_ date?”

_As a loudly protesting Jaehwan tried to shove his way out of Junghwan’s hold while Junghwan made ridiculously outrageous kissy faces at the camera held in a giggling Wonshik’s hand, Taekwoon quietly excused himself and strode back to their waiting room, blood rushing through his ears._

_Hakyeon’s eyes followed him with concern, before settling suspiciously on Hyuk and Hongbin, who were standing shoulder to shoulder exchanging troubled but satisfied expressions_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. What do you think would happen next?   
> I'd love to know your thoughts!   
> Thank you for reading <3


	6. One More Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakyeon gets involved, and Hyuk acts sweet. Taekwoon has good enough reason to feel suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read this story~

☼ 

 

 

“Jaehwanie, can you help me a bit?” Hakyeon’s voice called.

With a shout of affirmation, Jaehwan bounded over to the laundry room where Hakyeon was busy folding clothes.

Hakyeon hummed in appreciation when Jaehwan immediately scooped up the bundle of mismatched socks, sat cross-legged on the floor, and started sorting. _Hakyeon hated sorting socks and Jaehwan usually knew who every sock belonged to, given his penchant for “borrowing”._

“So, I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Hakyeon said conversationally.

“I know I’m making mistakes in practice, but I’ll get the steps down by this week,” Jaehwan preemptively promised before Hakyeon could call him out.

“Oh no, that’s not what I meant,” Hakyeon shook his head. “With enough practice, I know you will get the steps down. Besides, if you need monitoring, Hyukkie and I don’t mind doing extra reps.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jaehwan flashed a smile. “Then, what did you want to talk about?”

“You and Taekwoon,” Hakyeon said primly, studying the way Jaehwan’s hands froze. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jaehwan returned stiffly, feeling déjà vu.

“You know I give you all 7 days to sort out your messes before meddling,” Hakyeon reminded him. “And I’ve given you guys two weeks because I’ve been too busy to intervene. Also, seeing how the two of you are among the _more reasonable_ members of our sextet, I had hoped you’d sort it out among yourselves. But, I’ve had it watching you and Taekwoon skirting around each other and making mopey faces at one another’s back, so tell me what’s going on so I can help you fix it.”

“He’s the one who’s avoiding me like the plague,” Jaehwan tattled, hastily matching the socks now, hoping for a quick escape. “Every time I try to approach him, Taekwoon hyung finds a reason to disappear.”

_Lie._

_Taekwoon had tried to catch him the day after the festival. But after finding that Jaehwan was going out for ice cream with Jin, he’d stopped trying to talk to Jaehwan and started avoiding him._

“And the other day I swear I saw him light up a cigarette to stop me from cornering him in the balcony,” Jaehwan finished, shaking his head. "And he doesn't even smoke!"

“That is all fascinating, but why don’t we start from what triggered it?” Hakyeon sighed, dumping two more fistful of socks and a bunch of sweaters beside Jaehwan and cutting off his daydreams of escaping. “The day of the festival when Seokjin smooched you. What was that about?”

“I didn’t know he was gonna smooch me,” Jaehwan replied truthfully, now resigned to his fate. “Also, who says smooch in this day and age?”

“The voice of our entire group’s conscience. Me,” sassed Hakyeon. “But going back to that day: Seokjin smooches you, Sandeul insinuates Seokjin wants to date you, and then Taekwoon goes out and gets blackout drunk. After that, I haven’t seen you two interact once,” Hakyeon listed, pausing to contemplate trashing Hongbin’s ratty pajamas before deciding against it. _Only one family drama at a time_. “It adds up to a story for me, but I need to know your version, Jaehwanie.”

Jaehwan bit his lip, deliberating what to say, and Hakyeon took this chance to come up behind him and ruffle his hair.

“I love you both, you know. And it hurts seeing you both miserable,” Hakyeon said softly, appealing to Jaehwan’s soft heart. “Makes me feel like a bad leader and a terrible friend.”

“Hyung, no!” Jaehwan exclaimed, his eyes widening with worry. “You’re the best leader ever! And an awesome friend! Please never doubt that! But Taekwoon hyung and I, it-it’s complicated, and I don’t want you to think badly of me.”

“I wouldn’t. Try me,” Hakyeon returned, sauntering around Jaehwan to drop cross-legged in front of him.

“But you have to promise to not get angry, and not say anything till I’m done,” Jaehwan asked, looking at Hakyeon pleadingly.

“Quit stalling, Jaehwanie, and spill!”

And so Jaehwan tells him. Everything. From Jaehwan harbouring feelings for Taekwoon, to Taekwoon coming to him all those months ago, to Hyuk and Hongbin finding out, to their harebrained plan of making Taekwoon jealous backfiring into Taekwoon avoiding Jaehwan and Jaehwan losing sleep over it.

“Of all the people, you decided to go along with Dumb and Dumber’s plan?” Hakyeon asked exasperatedly once Jaehwan is done.

“I thought Hyukkie and Wonshikie were Dumb and Dumber,” Jaehwan returned, squirming under Hakyeon’s judgmental gaze.

“In circumstances involving any sort of planning. But in case of relationships, Hongbinie is the dumbest of us all, and Hyukkie isn’t too far behind,” Hakyeon shook his head. “Please never listen to them ever again.”

“But what do I do now?” Jaehwan wailed, twisting his hands in his lap.

“Do what Taekwoonie wouldn’t expect.”

“Like what?” Jaehwan asked curiously.

“Corner him,” Hakyeon suggested, eyes glinting.

“I’ve tried. Both in the dorm and in the company. But he slips away,” Jaehwan whined once more.

“I raised you to be more calculating,” Hakyeon neck-chopped Jaehwan, who yowled at the unexpected pain. “Corner him where he won’t expect.”

Jaehwan stared at him blankly for a good minute before Hakyeon sighed.

“Let me ask you this,” Hakyeon continued. “For as long as you and Taekwoon have been… _involved_ , how many times did you go to him?”

“Never,” Jaehwan shook his head. “He-,” Jaehwan paused, before understanding lit up his face. “He always came to me, because that’s how it’s always been. I never went to him.”

“And so, you let yourself believe he felt differently from you, because you never tried to find out if he’d be okay with you being in his most intimate space,” Hakyeon explained, shaking his head.

“So now,” Jaehwan continued, piecing it together. “I have to go to him. And tell him how I feel, without assuming anything or playing weird mind games?”

“It’s high time, don’t you think?” Hakyeon smiled, quirking an eyebrow at his cute but dumb dongsaeng.

“What’s the worst that could happen? He’d reject me?” Jaehwan laughed. “At least then I’d know that I had tried. Instead of being miserable wondering about what-ifs.”

“For all that’s worth, I don’t think he’d reject you,” Hakyeon smiled secretively.

“I’m not gonna hope,” Jaehwan said firmly, holding up a finger. “But I’m gonna try. Tonight.”

“That’s my Jaehwanie!” Hakyeon exclaimed with a sweet smile. “Now sort through these socks and sweaters before I enlist Wonshikie to help fold the bedsheets.”

“But I thought it’s Taekwoon hyung’s turn to help with laundry sorting,” Jaehwan replied confusedly.

“Oh no, he’s gonna wash plates after dinner, giving you enough time to sneak into his room and set up the ambush,” Hakyeon confided with a devious smile, knowing full well no one other than Hyukkie, Jaehwanie and he checked the chores list, and so Taekwoon wouldn’t question it.

“I love you hyung!” Jaehwan exclaimed, leaning forward to smack a quick kiss on Hakyeon’s cheek.

“Now go get your man,” Hakyeon beamed, getting up before fixing Jaehwan with a stern gaze. “But only after you’re done with the socks.”

 

 

☾

 

 

“Taekwoon hyung, long time no see!” Hyuk greeted, reclining against their dishwasher.

“But we-just had dinner together?” Taekwoon shot back confusedly, pausing in his act of drying plates.

“Technicalities,” Hyuk waved offhandedly. “Want my help with the dishes?”

“You’re offering to help?” Taekwoon asked, eyes going wide in astonishment. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“What a funny hyung,” Hyuk laughed, throwing his head back and smacking Taekwoon’s shoulder. “Just wanted to keep you company. You looked too lost in thought during dinner.”

And Taekwoon was. Lost in the way their overhead light had reflected off the rings on Jaehwan’s pretty fingers when he’d spent half the dinner texting and fidgeting in his seat. Taekwoon had _ached_ to reach out and put a hand on Jaehwan’s thigh, to hold him still, but things weren’t the same between them anymore. And so, Taekwoon had remained quiet in his seat, eyes fixed on his plate, absolutely not wondering if Jaehwan was texting Jin.

Because Jaehwan was free to text whoever he wanted. He could date 10 people for all Taekwoon cared. And no way would Taekwoon get in the way of Jaehwan’s happiness. Taekwoon’s own feelings be damned.

“If you’re done glaring at our rice bowl,” Hyuk’s voice broke into his reverie. “Pass it over.”

“Oh, sorry,” Taekwoon quickly apologized, ducking his head before focusing on Hyuk. “How is your songwriting going?”

Hyuk groaned, and Taekwoon couldn’t help but chuckle. “Is that why you’re here, Hyuk-ah? To procrastinate?”

“I can’t believe you’d think so lowly of me,” Hyuk reproached. “Here I am, volunteering to spend my free time with elderly people,” he leaped out of Taekwoon’s swatting range. “And all you do is question my intentions. Shame!”

Taekwoon snorted, making Hyuk huff and turn away, which in turn made Taekwoon giggle. “Sorry,” he apologized without meaning, once he’d gotten over his laughing fit. “What can I do to make it up to you, oh great Hyuk?”

“Not hurt me the next time you get the urge to do bodily damage to me?” Hyuk suggested, using a used washcloth to wipe down the kitchen counter.

“When have I ever tried to hurt you after you hulked up?” Taekwoon asked incredulously, closing the kitchen cabinets and washing his hands.

“Just in case,” Hyuk replied breezily, shoving Taekwoon to wash his hands at the sink. “Time for bed?”

“I’ll…read a bit, I think,” Taekwoon returned, longing for the days he could go over to Jaehwan’s room and just spend time snuggling with him or caressing the lithe lines of his body.

“Fair enough,” Hyuk replied, wiping his wet hands on his shorts ~~and making Taekwoon’s eyes twitch~~. “Let me walk you to your room.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anything from me?” Taekwoon asked suspiciously, mind racing.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Hyuk replied, leading the way. “See you tomorrow morning?” He asked, pausing right outside Taekwoon’s room and motioned for Taekwoon to open the door.

“Yeah, sure,” Taekwoon said distractedly, still wondering about Hyuk’s sudden attentiveness. “You wanna come in for a bit?”

“Nah,” Hyuk shook his head, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’ll go game with Hongbin hyung.”

“Anyone call my name?” Hongbin asked, popping out of his room and making his way to Taekwoon’s door. “Hyukimon, are you not letting our resident grandpa go to sleep?”

This time, Taekwoon reached out and managed to neckchop Hongbin before he could get away. “Brats,” he muttered, glaring at the now giggling duo. “Go play your stupid games and let me sleep.”

“As you wish, hyung,” Hyuk replied solemnly, turning the knob of the door and grandiosely gesturing for Taekwoon to go into his room.

“You’re acting real weird,” Taekwoon commented, “Isn’t he acting weird, Hongbin?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Hongbin rolled his eye and glared at Taekwoon. “Hyung, get inside your room. And you,” he turned to glare at Hyuk. “Work on being less shady and more direct.”

“All right then,” Hyuk replied, grabbling Taekwoon by his shoulders and shoving him into the room. “Goodnight hyung,” he waved, before slamming the door on Taekwoon’s face and asking Hongbin to do his thing.

“What the hell?” Taekwoon asked of his door, from beyond which he could hear his two dongsaengs fumbling with… _something_.

“Hello, hyung,” a different voice spoke up from behind Taekwoon, making him freeze. “I think it’s time we have a talk.”

Taekwoon turned around, eyes shifting from his carpet to his bed frame to finally fix on a somber Jaehwan sitting cross-legged on his bed.

“Jaehwan,” Taekwoon breathed, hardly daring to believe it was him. That Jaehwan was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A Cliffhanger** dun-dun-dun   
>  :p  
> Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think!


	7. I Burn For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehwan confronts Taekwoon and confesses his feelings, and Taekwoon makes a decision. Or, two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next installment of the story ~~after **that** cliffhanger~~  
>  Hope you enjoy reading~

☾

 

 

“Before you try to escape,” Jaehwan preempted. “Hongbin is crowbarring your door, to jam the lock from outside.”

“Why?” Taekwoon asked incredulously. “And why even does Hongbin know how to jam locks?”

“Technicalities,” Jaehwan waved his hand in an eerie imitation of Hyuk. “But, to answer your first question, as insurance.”

“Insurance?” Taekwoon parroted, trying to make sense.

“So that we talk, and neither of us can run away from this conversation,” Jaehwan explained, wrangling his hands in his lap. Taekwoon’s hands twitched once more.

“Talk about what?” Taekwoon asked instead.

“Sit first?” Jaehwan motioned to the bed, a pleading look in his bright eyes.

And so Taekwoon takes slow, measured steps towards his own bed and settles himself cautiously at the edge of his mattress, staying as far away from Jaehwan as possible.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Jaehwan said without preamble once Taekwoon had managed to meet his eye. “And I hate it.”

“I’m just working through some things,” Taekwoon replied vaguely, looking down at his feet. “It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Then why are you avoiding me in particular?” Jaehwan charged. “You’re okay whenever any of the others approach you, but when it comes to me, you’ve been nothing less than distant and dismissive.”

Taekwoon said nothing, because he did not know how to put the amalgam of emotions swirling around his head into coherent words.

This time Jaehwan let the silence stretch out, choosing to study the tight lines of Taekwoon’s shoulders instead of filling the silence with words, as was his wont. But after five minutes of nothing but the sound of their soft breathing gracing the room, Jaehwan’s patience reached its end.

“Hyung,” he sighed, tiredly. “If you're not going to talk, then I’ll talk for a bit, and you just listen, okay?”

Taekwoon only nodded, hands clasped tight in his lap.

“Back when we debuted, I was a mess,” Jaehwan began, before pausing to chuckle self-deprecatingly. “I was awkward, and I lacked self-confidence, and willing to get attention any way I could.”

“But I had this one friend, right from the start. Who was like me, but different. Short of words, but full of ambition. He was so charismatic, and I couldn’t help but fall for him,” Jaehwan smiled softly, making Taekwoon’s stomach twist uneasily. _He didn’t know if he wanted to hear any more of Jaehwan falling in love with Jin, but he’d promised to listen, and so listen he would._

“Do you remember when we were playing Truth and Dare during New Year’s Eve two years ago and everyone’s crushes was being revealed?” Jaehwan asked, and Taekwoon nodded yet again. _He remembered being piled with an assortment of alcohol and then nagged ~~by Hakyeon~~ into answering. He’d named Joo Hyun noona, not knowing that they’d get to work together in the months upcoming._

“You were all naming your crushes left and right, and I so badly wanted to confess, but I didn’t want to bring the mood down. I didn’t want to be the odd one out, to make you all feel awkward and disgusted, and so I held my tongue and pretended to be asleep.”

Taekwoon wants to vehemently oppose Jaehwan, to assure him that they could never find him disgusting, and Jaehwan must know he wants to speak up, because Jaehwan holds up a palm, asking for Taekwoon to let him continue, uninterrupted.

“Just, let me finish, okay? And then you can talk,” Jaehwan pleaded. “It took a long time for me to decide how exactly I want to tell you, so...let me just finish before I lose my nerve.”

Taekwoon nodded, eyes never drifting from Jaehwan’s distressed face.

“Right,” Jaehwan sighed. “So, I kept it in, and just admired him from afar, content with daydreaming what-ifs, hoping against hope that my crush would subside. But it didn’t. It got worse,” Jaehwan pouted, shaking his head. “He was just so nice to me, always had good things to say about me, to support me when I was down and back me up when I was overwhelmed, and my god, when he smiled at me, my entire world seemed to light up.”

_You light up my world too_ , Taekwoon wanted to ~~shout~~ say. _With your beauty, your talents and your charms. It’s a pity I couldn’t be the one to steal your heart._ _~~Maybe in another life?~~_

“He was quite popular with the ladies too, you know. Why wouldn’t he be?” Jaehwan chuckled hollowly once more. “One after one, he paraded his one-night stands right in front of me, talked about his infatuations with me, not knowing that it broke my heart each time. How could he though, when I never let him know how I felt?” At this point, Taekwoon kinda wanted to hit Jin on Jaehwan’s behalf.

“And then, last year rolled around,” Jaehwan continued, oblivious to Taekwoon’s violent thoughts. “Do you remember when we went to Vietnam and Cambodia?”

Taekwoon nodded. _How could he forget?_

“That trip, it made me reevaluate a lot of things,” Jaehwan reminisced, eyes unfocused and mind stuck in memories. “And then, we came back. And I felt so close to you.”

“So, when you showed up on my doorstep, wanting to kiss me, I agreed immediately,” Jaehwan continued after a beat of silence. “This past year have only brought us closer, not just physically but also emotionally, I’d like to think,” Jaehwan rambled, shaky fingers playing with his rings. “And I liked that. A lot. Except I never knew where I stood with you. Was I just an experiment for you, or did you return even one percent of my feelings?”

_Wait._

_What._

Taekwoon can’t help but exclaim aloud.

But Jaehwan continued undeterred, eyes stinging with traitorous tears. “I’d been infatuated with you for so long, so when you came to me, I jumped in blindly, hoping for something more. Hoping that maybe you liked me too. But you only came to me at night, and then left before I could wake up in the morning. And you’d treat me just like everyone else outside. So, I just got more and more confused, and I know it’s not fully your fault, but I couldn’t help but feel hurt.”

Jaehwan inhaled shakily, barely noticing that Taekwoon was now hanging onto his every word, an intense, determined look in his eye.

“Hyuk and Hongbin confronted me,” Jaehwan smiled despite himself. “They’d figured out what we were up to, and realized that I was sad. So, they made this elaborate plan to make you jealous and to quote Hyukkie, ‘unleash your caveman instincts’,” Jaehwan shook his head indulgently. _Taekwoon was realizing why Hyuk had bargained that Taekwoon not hit him next time he felt the urge._

“And as you know, it backfired into Jinnie kissing me and now you avoiding me, and me being even more hurt and confused,” Jaehwan stopped for a quick breath, blinking back his tears. “Fortunately, Hakyeonie hyung talked some sense into me, so here I am, sitting in front of you, telling you that I love you. That I have been in love with you for years now, and whether you choose to indulge my affections or end my misery, is for you to decide. I would not hold your decision against you, and I hope you’ll give my confession the same consideration. Yeah.” Jaehwan sighed shakily, relieved that he’d managed to get the whole thing off his chest. _He also made a mental note to thank Hakyeon for giving him the idea to jot down bullet points of what he’d like to say beforehand._

Taekwoon’s head spun with the words Jaehwan had told him, the feelings he had decided to repress, and everything he’d assumed. He knew Jaehwan was waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t know what he could say, so he decided to be honest.

“I don’t know what to say. To all of that,” Taekwoon confessed raggedly. “Will you…give me some time to think?”

“Of course,” Jaehwan allowed immediately, the creases in his forehead smoothing out, but hands still fidgeting. This time Taekwoon allowed himself to lean over and cup Jaehwan’s hands between his fingers.

“Bad habit,” he chided, shifting closer.

Jaehwan only breathed out a laugh, elfin ears going slightly pink. “Does this mean we’ll be okay?” he asked, daring to hope.

“We’ll always be okay,” Taekwoon assured, squeezing their hands together. “But I have things I want to tell you too, and I hope you’ll be patient till I figure myself out. Will you, Jaehwan-ah?”

Jaehwan nodded, not trusting his mouth to blurt out something stupid when faced with Taekwoon’s earnestness.

“But never, please _never_ think what we had was meaningless. It meant…it means more than you’d imagine. Jaehwan-ah?”

“Hmm?” Jaehwan asked absentmindedly, fluttering eyes unable to meet Taekwoon’s unwavering gaze.   

“Next time, if you feel confused, please come talk to me. Okay?”

“Okay hyung,” Jaehwan nodded, wondering how much of this drama could have been avoided if he’d just asked Taekwoon what all of this meant for him.

“One more thing,” Taekwoon paused for a breath. “Will you sleep with me tonight? I-I’ve missed going to sleep with you.”

At this, Jaehwan had to look at Taekwoon, to meet his serious face and study him for a good couple of minutes.

“Here?” he asked finally.

“Of course, unless you’d prefer to go to your room?” Taekwoon allowed, gripping Jaehwan’s hands and leaning in closer.

“I don’t mind being here,” Jaehwan shook his head, allowing Taekwoon to pull him into a loose embrace. He couldn’t be sure if he imagined Taekwoon’s soft sigh when they hugged. “I-I want to be with you.”

Instead of replying, Taekwoon carefully leaned them sideways till they were somewhat spooning on the bed, Jaehwan’s head tucked into his chest. _And Jaehwan couldn’t help but nuzzle, okay?_

“Oh,” Jaehwan mumbled, after minutes spent just breathing each other in. “If you want Hongbin to unjam your door, you’ll have to knock in the pattern of the first line of Hyde’s chorus on the wall separating your rooms.”

“I think I’m good for tonight,” Taekwoon replied, pressing his cheek against Jaehwan’s head. “So Hongbin and Hyuk know, huh?”

“And Hakyeonie hyung,” Jaehwan listed. “And Junghwanie. And Jinnie, so possibly all of BTS by now. Are you mad?”

Taekwoon shrugged, finding himself indifferent to their friends finding out. “And that kiss?” he blurted out instead, immediately wanting to hit himself for sounding so _needy_.

“Just Jinnie going the extra mile, to make you jealous,” Jaehwan sighed tiredly.

“Can I confess something?” Taekwoon whispered, taking in a deep breath when Jaehwan nodded. “I wanted to rip his face off for kissing you. Sandeul too.”

“Hyukkie did say you looked extra murderous,” Jaehwan chuckled, remembering. “Are you saying you felt jealous?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know I’ve been burning with jealousy for the past couple of weeks,” Taekwoon reproached, jabbing Jaehwan’s ribcage where he was sensitive, and only stopping when Jaehwan captured his hand and entwined their fingers together.

“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon said, after some time spent silently holding one another. “For hurting you. I’ll try to be better.”

“I’m so glad Hakyeonie hyung made me come talk to you,” Jaehwan sighed, snuggling closer.

“Me too,” Taekwoon replied, stroking his free hand through Jaehwan’s hair and absentmindedly wondering how insufferable Hakyeon was going to be in the upcoming days. “I’m glad we started to talk.”

“I’ll be waiting for when you’ll get your thoughts straight,” Jaehwan nudged.

“You’ll be the first person I’ll tell,” Taekwoon promised, dropping a soft kiss against Jaehwan’s forehead and closing his eyes.

“We should turn off the lights,” Jaehwan suggested sleepily, raising his head and placing a kiss on the underside of Taekwoon's jaw.

“Later, when we’re done cuddling,” Taekwoon dismissed, knowing full well that he wasn’t planning to let go of Jaehwan for the night. _Or ever, if only he could bring himself to be brave_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you think ^_^


	8. Time, after Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Jaehwan has bared his heart for Taekwoon, how will things change?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the latest installment of the story.  
> Hope you enjoy~

☼

 

 

Taekwoon leaves him alone for three days.

For three days, he goes back to treating Jaehwan the way he had before, just as brusquely and affectionately as he treated the others. But Jaehwan doesn’t mind. Taekwoon had asked for some time (as Jaehwan had to relay to all of Hakyeon, Hongbin and Hyuk the morning after the crowbarring incident), and Jaehwan didn’t mind being treated the same way as the others when he could feel Taekwoon’s gaze lingering on him throughout the days. _Hey, at least they were back to talking!_

On the fourth day, as a still sleepy Jaehwan is brushing his teeth in the bathroom, Taekwoon comes up behind him and nips at the round of his shoulder, startling him.

“Easy, it’s just me,” Taekwoon replied playfully, ruffling Jaehwan’s hair before leaning past him and dropping his nightshirt into the laundry basket under the sink. And then he leaves, a sparkle lighting up his eyes.

The next day, as Jaehwan, Taekwoon and Wonshik are travelling together to the company, Taekwoon leans over and spreads his palm over Jaehwan’s thigh to stop him from shaking his legs.

“Bad habit,” he whispered, letting his fingers dip just below the hem of Jaehwan’s shorts. Jaehwan freezes.

When he turns to look at the other, Taekwoon has his face angled to the scenery outside, but Jaehwan _swears_ he sees the ghost of a smirk stretching Taekwoon’s cheek. So, he lets it be, using the metronome of Wonshik’s snoring to calm down his racing heart.

A whole week after that, Taekwoon comes in late from a musical audition, and ignoring Hakyeon’s and Hongbin’s greetings, beelines straight for the couch where Jaehwan is reading a manga. Discarding his jacket on the ground, Taekwoon drops down, covering the entirety of Jaehwan’s body with his.

“Hyung?” Jaehwan asked, eyes flitting to the two managers and Wonshik’s makeup noona watching some sitcom on the TV.

“Tired,” Taekwoon whined, fitting his face in the gap between Jaehwan’s shoulder and neck. “Miss you,” he mumbled in an undertone, dotting a dozen sloppy but insistent kisses on Jaehwan’s neck, before relaxing and falling asleep.

Jaehwan discards his manga, in favour of wrapping a hand around Taekwoon’s broader frame and carding through his hair with the other hand. When he looks towards the kitchen, Hakyeon is studying the two of them with a pleased look on his face and only halfheartedly listening to the new stylist noona showing outfit ideas to him. _Jaehwan looks away before Hakyeon’s confidence can make him hope._

 

 

☾

 

 

Jaehwan doesn’t know when he falls asleep, but when he awakens, he finds himself cradled in Taekwoon’s chest and Taekwoon perusing the same manga that Jaehwan had been reading before.

“Hi,” Jaehwan yawned cutely, and immediately Taekwoon’s hand came to rest on his neck, rubbing comfortingly. “How long was I out?”

“Well, it’s 3 am,” Taekwoon replied, consulting his watch. “Hyuk left us a sticky note, informing dinner has been left in the fridge. Wanna eat?”

“You probably do,” Jaehwan teased, knowing Taekwoon’s penchant of shoveling food into his mouth for fun. “How long have you been awake?”

“An hour maybe?” Taekwoon returned.

“You could have gotten up and eaten. I had some snacks before you came home,” Jaehwan pouted reproachfully.

“Didn’t want to leave you alone. Not again,” Taekwoon replied sincerely, poking at Jaehwan’s lower lip with a finger. “Let’s eat now?”

_Jaehwan can only nod, fragile heart hoping that he’s reading this right._

“Did you have a chance to think things over?” he asked Taekwoon, emptying out the bowl of chicken and greens salad they’d been sharing.

“Mmhmm,” Taekwoon mumbled distractedly, chopsticks poking the kimbap roll they’d reheated. _Hongbin’s cooking, most likely_. “Is waiting too hard, Jaehwan-ah?”

“I’ve waited for you for so long, I can wait a little bit more,” Jaehwan blurted out, only realizing how cheesy he sounded once the whole sentence was out.

“Cheesy,” Taekwoon grimaced, shaking his head judgmentally.

“Excuse you,” Jaehwan squawked. “I’m the cutie main vocal. I have the right to be as greasy as I want!”

“With that nose, you definitely have grease to spare,” Taekwoon deadpanned, dropping two rolls of kimbap on Jaehwan’s plate and holding another one up for him to taste.

Jaehwan considered rejecting the food and continuing to bicker, but he was actually hungry, and he was quite fond of cheese kimbap (definitely Hongbin’s handiwork). So, he allowed Taekwoon to feed him, all the while grumbling under his breath. Taekwoon smiled, and then alternated between feeding himself and Jaehwan, the pleased look never leaving his face.

When they are done eating and they began cleaning up, Jaehwan still continued to throw mock offended looks at Taekwoon, enjoying how bunched up Taekwoon’s cheeks got every time he looked at Jaehwan.

Then all of a sudden, Taekwoon hooked his fingers in the beltloops of Jaehwan’s pants, and pulled Jaehwan flush against him. Cradling a hand against Jaehwan’s cheek, he leaned down and gently nipped at Jaehwan’s lips.

Cornering Jaehwan against the sink, Taekwoon continued to nip at Jaehwan’s lips till Jaehwan tilted his head and allowed Taekwoon to deepen the kiss, their hands starting to roam the familiar planes of each other’s bodies.

“Don’t mind me, I’m here for a glass of water,” a voice forced them to break apart, and looking towards the kitchen counter, they found Hakyeon in his terry robe pouring himself a glass of water. “But can’t say I mind the show.”

“Go sleep,” Taekwoon growled at his sometimes best-friend, refusing to let a now mortified and struggling Jaehwan step away.

“How about _you_ go sleep, you insolent brat, and spare our common space from your horniness,” Hakyeon sassed, narrowing his eyes and glaring at Taekwoon’s hand which was not-so-subtly cupping Jaehwan’s butt.

“How about we all go sleep, and pretend this never happened?” Jaehwan suggested, elbowing Taekwoon to step out of his hold, his cheeks stained pink.

“I don’t think we’re thinking of the same kind of _sleep_ ,” Hakyeon winked, chuckling when a flustered Jaehwan started spluttering. “Goodnight lovebirds. Try not to defile our public space or I’ll unleash Hyukkie on you.”

“Hey Hakyeon,” Taekwoon called when Hakyeon had almost stepped away from the wash of the kitchen light. “Thanks.”

“You’re always welcome, my lifelong friend,” Hakyeon smiled sweetly, his angular features softening up. “I’m glad you’re together.”

“Wait until we make it official,” Taekwoon volleyed back, before turning to look at Jaehwan with both adoration and apprehension. “At least wait till I can ask if Jaehwan-ah wants to be with me, despite everything.”

“Despite everything?” Jaehwan quirked an eyebrow, finally over his blushing fit.

“I think we should have the talk,” Taekwoon replied somberly. “There’s a lot you have to know, and after that, if you still want me…,” he trailed off, one hand ghosting over the line of Jaehwan’s back.

“Wanna talk now?” Jaehwan asked, tucking a strand of Taekwoon’s overgrown hair behind his ear.

“How about we take a nap together first, and then talk first thing in the morning?” Taekwoon wheedled nervously, eyes flitting closed when Jaehwan’s hand stroked over his cheekbone.

Jaehwan doesn’t answer verbally, but leans up on his tiptoes to kiss the corner of Taekwoon’s mouth. He wonders what could be bothering Taekwoon, and decides he’ll be okay with finding out about it the next morning. “Bed,” he said softly instead, clasping their hands together before leading them to Taekwoon’s bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Taekwoon needs to get off his chest?  
> Let me know your thoughts!


	9. Turning Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon makes his confession, and Jaehwan shares his worries. ~~Like two adults in the semblance of a functional relationship~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the penultimate installment of the story!

☼

 

 

When he awakens, Jaehwan finds himself alone in his bed. No, in Taekwoon’s bed.

A horrible sense of déjà vu begins to take root, but before his heart could break _again_ , Jaehwan’s eyes – wandering through the sunlit room – latched onto Taekwoon, who was sitting quietly in the sofa in the corner of the room, and staring at Jaehwan with an impassive expression on his face.

“Hyung?” Jaehwan asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Why are you sitting there?”

“Thinking,” Taekwoon replied, hands coming to rest on his knees as he leaned forward.

“Okay,” Jaehwan replied slowly, trying to gauge his mood. “Do you wanna talk about what you’re thinking?”

“I don’t,” Taekwoon replied tensely, before sighing. “But I need to.”

“Oh,” Jaehwan replied, getting up and sitting cross-legged on Taekwoon’s bed. “Come sit?” He motioned to the other end of the bed, where the blankets were haphazardly pooled.

“No, I-I think I’ll stay where I am,” Taekwoon shook his head, hands coming up the grip the arm rests of the sofa. “Before,” he said nervously. “Before, you had asked me to listen while you talked for a while. Now I’d like to do the same.”

“Okay,” Jaehwan nodded, a sense of foreboding hovering around his heart. “Talk to me.”

“The truth is,” Taekwoon began, looking unflinchingly at Jaehwan. “I didn’t want to fall for you. I didn’t want to fall for anyone, not after my breakup. Do you remember?”

Jaehwan nods, mind going back almost seven years ago, before their debut. _To when Taekwoon had come into practice one day with slumped shoulders and bloodshot eyes, and Hakyeon had taken him aside to talk for 2 hours. His girlfriend had left him, Hakyeon had informed the rest of them in a hushed whisper later that night. She had left him without telling him why. And a crushed Taekwoon had poured every free moment after that into training with a single-minded focus_.

“After her, I tried to drown my heartbreak with meaningless flings,” Taekwoon shook his head, sounding ashamed. “And it helped. _Somewhat_. For a while. I didn’t feel lonely.”

When Taekwoon cedes into silence for long minutes, Jaehwan decides to bring him back to track. “On a Cold Night?” he prompted, startling Taekwoon.

“That was when I started to heal. I thought that maybe it had been enough. Maybe I could start to date again,” Taekwoon sighed. “But I couldn’t find someone I clicked with effortlessly, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Then you stopped going on dates,” Jaehwan filled in, remembering.

Taekwoon nodded, a wry smile overtaking his face. “Hakyeon was worried, and unwilling to – and I quote – _let me spend the rest of my life rotting alone writing sad songs_. He tried to get me out of the house, on blind dates. But even he eventually stopped trying.”

“But that wasn’t the entire reason why I never found someone I wanted to spend more time with,” he sighed again, dropping his eyes to the floor, the insinuations of what he was leaving out hanging between the two of them.

“When Wonshik and I started working together, we spent a lot of long nights working in the studio, and sometimes drinking,” Taekwoon continued. “And when we got drunk, he’d talk about you. How _fond_ he was of you. How lovely you are.”

“I had always noticed you. Your smile, your drive. From the beginning,” he said softly.

“But I thought you disliked me?” Jaehwan asked, voice breathy and head spinning with Taekwoon’s words.

“I did. Way before. Because you were everything I couldn’t be. And I didn’t want to become your friend, to let you get closer and find out how terribly uninteresting I was.”

Jaehwan splutters, protests ready at the tip of his tongue, but Taekwoon hushes him with a shake of his head. “My fear lasted all the way into our first company meeting as VIXX. After everyone had gone to bed, and you had come to seek me out.”

 _Jaehwan had come armed with both their favourite snacks, Taekwoon had made hot chocolate, and they had spent half the night sitting on their balcony and discussing their joint role as main vocal and their future aspirations, and had parted with a promise to never bring each other down and instead support one another_.

“After our talk, I began to take notice of you: if you felt well, if you were straining your voice, if you were eating properly. But I also began to linger on the lines of your face, the narrow of your waist, the plush of your lips,” he continued, sliding a hand through his hair. “You slowly wormed into my heart, and Wonshik’s confessions only helped me realize that _maybe_ , just maybe, my feelings for you were not entirely platonic.”

“Cambodia?” Jaehwan prompted.

Taekwoon shakes his head. “Even before that. I-I started hovering around you. Touching you a bit more that I should have, and you never stopped me.”

“How could I?” Jaehwan replied wryly.

“I didn’t know then, of course, how you felt,” Taekwoon nodded, flattening his lips and bunching his cheeks up. “But I knew I felt _something_ for you. And when you rejected Wonshik, as bad as this sounds, that filled me with hope.”

“And then of course, we went to Cambodia. And Vietnam. And I got to spend so much time with you, seeing sights and eating and just enjoying life together. And I really liked that. I-I realized I wanted to continue doing that. With you. That’s when I realized how badly I had fallen for you, and how much I craved you.”

“Why not tell me that?” Jaehwan asks, forehead creasing into a frown.

“I wanted to,” Taekwoon insisted. “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how you’d react. You’ve never discussed any relationships, even with the rest of us. Neither have you ever brought anyone home. So I thought maybe, relationships were not your style. Maybe you did casual flings. So that’s what I asked of you.”

“I half expected you to say no, you know,” Taekwoon smiled slightly. “But you didn’t. You led me to your room, and let me kiss you. You were patient and caring with me and so I took more and more of your time, never realizing how much I was hurting you.”

This time when Taekwoon slips into a silent reverie, Jaehwan lets him, busy as he is trying to digest Taekwoon's words.

“Is that all?” Jaehwan asked after several minutes, realizing that Taekwoon was still not saying something.

“No,” Taekwoon shuddered in a breath. “I came to you only at nights, because I didn’t want anyone to find out.”

“Can I ask why?” Jaehwan questioned, tilting his head.

“Because I was a coward,” Taekwoon replied. “I didn’t want the others to think differently of me. Also, I didn’t want to face Wonshik and tell him what we were doing. But also because I could never talk about us to my family. Or so I thought,” he paused.

“After your stunt with Jin, I went out and got blackout drunk,” he continued in a low voice. “Hakyeon found me, and slapped some sense into me,” Taekwoon winced, wishing he was lying about the slapping part. _Hakyeon had indeed slapped him when he’d staggered home that night, and then Taekwoon had spewed his feelings for Jaehwan. The next morning Hakyeon had greeted him with a bucket of cold water to his face, as an attempt to wash away his stupidity_.

“He told me to confess my feelings for you,” Taekwoon continued, coming out of his reverie. “I told him I would, after I had sorted out some things.”

“Like what?” Jaehwan asked quietly, thinking back to Hakyeon’s smug face when he’d said he didn’t think Taekwoon would reject Jaehwan.

“I needed to talk to Wonshik, and come clean,” Taekwoon replied. “Which I did, and he gave me his blessings. And then, I needed to talk to my family.” Jaehwan’s head snapped up, eyes widening. “They’re not very happy with how I am, but they don’t mind...for the most part. And my noonas want to meet you for lunch.”

“Of course,” Jaehwan replied shakily. “Did you really talk to your family about us?”

“You matter to me. _This_ matters. A lot,” Taekwoon replied with conviction. “I had to.”

“We can never go public,” Jaehwan interjected, referring to how much Taekwoon liked to share his everyday life with their fans.

“I know, but that doesn’t matter as long as we’re together and happy,” Taekwoon replied. “Are you willing to take that chance with me?”

“For how long, Taekwoon hyung?” Jaehwan asked tiredly. “How long until you grow tired of me, until you resent me because you’ll never be able to talk about us publicly? You’ll never get the kids you want if you continue to be with me. I’ll never be happy because this will always be in the back of my head.”

“People don’t need to know everything,” Taekwoon soothed, hands twitching to come rest at Jaehwan’s slumped shoulders and massage away the tenseness. “Like you said, the ones who matter would never judge us for being together, and as long as we’re happy, nothing else would matter. And over time, we’ll have plenty of nieces and nephews to dote on. If we still want _more_ , we can figure that out together, right?”

“I don’t get it,” Jaehwan laughed without humour. “One minute I don’t know where we stand, and the next, you’re what? Proposing a lifetime together?”

“I am,” Taekwoon said quietly, letting the curtain of his bangs cover his eyes. “Hongbinnie did always say I don’t know how to do things by half. I’m not asking you to answer this very minute, but I need you to know I’m thinking of the long haul.”

“I-I love you, Jaehwan,” he said, looking at Jaehwan again. “I think I’ve loved you for a long time, not that I’ve expressed it very well, and I’d like for the chance to make it up to you. What you choose to do with my confession is for you to decide,” he completed, parroting Jaehwan’s words.

Jaehwan flopped back onto the bed, both mind and heart racing.

_Taekwoon...loved...him?_

“I love you too. In case you were wondering,” he replied, after a good couple of minutes spent considering everything. “As for rest...can we just live in the now, and figure things out over time?”

“Of course,” Taekwoon replied, sounding relieved. “We can take it slow, as slow as you want.”

“Come cuddle me now,” Jaehwan invited, rolling to the edge of the bed and looking at Taekwoon. "I just want to hold you for a bit," he explained, wanting nothing more than to hold Taekwoon tight and forget about every anxious thought in his head.

Taekwoon got up from his perch and sauntered over, getting on his bed and crawling up till Jaehwan was fitted snugly between his thighs.

“Jaehwan-ah,” he whispered, voice soft as silk. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” Jaehwan breathed, arms sliding up and settling around Taekwoon’s hips.

Taekwoon leaned down, resting his weight on his elbows and pecked at the corner of Jaehwan’s mouth. “I love you,” he proclaimed again, leaning down more and resting his warm weight more heavily on Jaehwan’s body.

“Love you too,” Jaehwan replied, trembling hands slipping under Taekwoon’s nightshirt and dipping at the hem of his pajama bottoms. Taekwoon made a pleased, purring sound and lifted his hips, to begin tugging at Jaehwan’s sleeping shorts.

 _Jaehwan felt like he could do this forever, and that scared him. So, he renewed his efforts of divesting Taekwoon of his shirt, and kissed him with more fervor, wanting to lose himself in Taekwoon’s body, to drown out the thoughts in his head, and just relish in the moment. At least for a while_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update, everyone!

☼

 

 

Lunch that day is  _ different _ .

Jaehwan and Taekwoon had skipped breakfast, but Hyuk had come ~~knocking~~ banging at Taekwoon’s door near noon, asking them to make themselves presentable and come join the others for food.

As it was their day off, everyone was home. Even Wonshik, who usually equated free time with spending grueling hours in the studio experimenting with music. ~~Although Hakyeon threatening to fry his hard disk might have had something to do with ensuring his presence at the lunch table.~~

And so, when Jaehwan walks out of Taekwoon’s room, he finds a table full of bandmates studying him with various degrees of amusement on their faces. Blushing, he takes his customary seat beside Hyuk and across from Hongbin, and begins loading food on his plate, pretending to not feel everyone’s eyes on him.

“Where’s grandpa?” Hongbin broke the silence, chopsticks busy shredding the chicken breast on his plate.

“Taking a quick shower,” Jaehwan informed, face still flaming.

“I thought he’d still be napping, tired out by old age and well, you,” Hyuk pitched in, looking the picture of innocence.

“I can hear you, brat,” Taekwoon quipped, coming up behind Hyuk and neck-chopping him. “Scoot,” he ordered, taking his chair from one end of the table to squeeze in between Hyuk and Jaehwan.

“Is this going to be a thing?” Hakyeon asked, bright eyes shining with mischief.

“Maybe,” Taekwoon said evenly, motioning for Wonshik to pass over his utensils.

“We should eat, now that everyone is here,” Jaehwan insisted, as soon as Taekwoon had started shoveling salad on his plate.

Hakyeon smirked at him, but motioned for everyone to start eating, ready to let it go for a bit.

“So, now that you two are openly sleeping together,” Wonshik began after some time, making Jaehwan choke on his chicken. “We should set ground rules.”

“Seconded,” Hyuk nodded, reaching past Taekwoon to ~~eagerly~~ thump Jaehwan’s back.

“No making out or getting handsy where we can see you,” Hongbin said somberly. “No cutesy nicknames and no bedroom talk either.”

“If you dare to defile the sanctity of anything outside your bedrooms, Hyuk has been given explicit permission to make sure you don’t repeat your offences,” Hakyeon decreed.

“With pleasure,” Hyuk grinned at the duo. “Also, no fighting in front of us. If you need to bitch about things, Jaehwan hyung gets me and Hongbin hyung, and Taekwoon hyung gets the other two.”

“Why does he get the reasonable ones?” Jaehwan whined the same time Taekwoon asked, “Why does Jaehwan-ah get the evil masterminds?”

“You’re right, we should switch,” Hakyeon allowed. “Hyuk and I can substitute.”

Jaehwan high-fived Hakyeon, but Taekwoon pouted sullenly. “Hyuk will only be mean to me.”

“Do you want Hongbin and Wonshik then?” Hakyeon raised an eye at his slow-analyzing friend.

“No!” Taekwoon shouted, causing both Hongbin and Wonshik to look affronted. “Hyuk is good. I love Hyuk!”

“As you should,” Hyuk nodded sagely.

“Now that that’s settled, are you guys making it official?” Hakyeon asked, tapering his hands together on the table.  _ He had eaten too little, Taekwoon observed distractedly, making a mental note to talk to Hakyeon later _ .

“Well,” Jaehwan drawled, taking a break to chew his chicken. “We have talked it over” – "And done unmentionable things," Hyuk added helpfully – “and we’ve decided to take things slow. Talk a bit more and figure things out.”

“But everything considered, we have decided to give being together a try,” Taekwoon finished, snaking his hand around Jaehwan’s waistline and burrowing in his side.

“My two cutie main vocals, finally together!” Hakyeon preened. “All thanks to my advice!”

“And my planning, of course!” Hyuk pitched in.

“This wouldn't have happened without my crow-barring skills!” Hongbin added.

“My blessing is what sealed the deal, let's be honest!” Wonshik nodded, fluffing his collar.

For a breath, the four of them looked at each other suspiciously, before succumbing into bickering about who had more contribution to their main vocal couple getting together.

Taekwoon and Jaehwan watched amusedly, Taekwoon’s head resting on Jaehwan’s shoulder, and Jaehwan’s hand rubbing comfortingly on Taekwoon’s leg.

“What do you say we ditch these losers and go get ice cream?” Taekwoon proposed, knowing Jaehwan’s penchant for soft serve.

“You know me best,” Jaehwan batted his eyelashes, turning to hide a giggle in Taekwoon’s shower-damp hair.

“I love you best,” Taekwoon insisted, disentangling himself to stand up and extend a hand to Jaehwan. He was glad that he had the forethought of pocketing his wallet earlier.

Jaehwan laughed, and it made Taekwoon’s day just a bit brighter.

_ They were still in the nascent stage of exchanging 'I Love You's and figuring out communicating more openly, but Taekwoon felt confident that they could do this for a lifetime to come. _

_ Unbeknownst to him, despite earlier reservations, Jaehwan was beginning to believe the same. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for giving this story a chance and liking it <3  
> You guys are amazing ^_^  
> Tbh, this was a bit of a struggle for me to write because a) I started writing this after a long bout of no creative writing and b) I began this story with no end in mind, and just the plot of HyukBin meddling, and now here we are :)   
> Thank you guys for coming on this journey with me <3 I'd love to hear your thoughts~


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